Breaking Free from Self-Centeredness

There can be no one more astray than those who elevate their own desires to the status of a deity. The Quran describes such people as being among the farthest removed from the path of guidance: “And who could be more astray than those who follow their desires with no guidance from Allah?” (28:50). And, “Have you seen the one who takes as his god his own desire? Then would you be responsible for him? Or do you think that most of them listen or understand? They are only like cattle — no, more than that, they are astray from the ˹Right˺ Way!” (25:43-44).

One should, therefore, recognize that taking one’s desires as a deity is the defining characteristic of the individualistic tendency that has come to dominate the worldview of materialistic societies. The primary consequence of this individualism is self-centeredness. Within the modern materialistic worldview, human beings no longer derive meaning, values, and moral standards from divine revelation or the God-given moral order. Instead, the individual has become the center of the universe and the ultimate reference for determining truth, morality, and value. In reality, this is nothing other than elevating the self and its desires to the status of a deity. The Quranic condemnation of following one’s desires is, therefore, not merely a warning against personal moral weakness; it is a critique of an entire worldview that substitutes human desire for divine guidance.

Within this ideological framework, the foundation of morality becomes positive law, reducing ethics to a system of rights and obligations. As self-centeredness emerges from an inflated sense of self — within the context of epistemological and moral relativism, and the reduction of human relationships to legal rights and duties — individuals increasingly come to perceive themselves and others primarily through the lens of entitlement. Consequently, expressions such as, “I have the right,” “You have no right,” and “The law prohibits that,” become commonplace in their discourse. The dominant moral concern thus becomes the assertion, protection, and fulfillment of one’s own rights.

As the ego becomes inflated, a person’s character is increasingly marked by ostentation, arrogance, anger, and harshness. The outlook revolves around demanding rights, competing over them, and giving precedence to personal desires over the responsibilities imposed by moral virtue and social obligation. This, in turn, fosters a growing sense of entitlement, while diminishing concern for the rights and welfare of others. Some even justify violating the rights of others under the claim that doing so is their legitimate religious right.

Those who have been nurtured upon and shaped by this ideology and who persist in it have placed themselves within the sphere of Allah's wrath, even if they pray and fast, because their true deity is their own desire.

The Prophet (pbuh) vividly described the character of such a person in the following Hadith: “Indeed, Allah hates every jaʿẓarī (جعظري)”— that is, one who is arrogant and hard-hearted; “jawwāẓ (جواظ)”— that is, one who is haughty, coarse, and rude; “loud and quarrelsome in the marketplaces”— that is, one who habitually argues and raises his voice; “a corpse by night”— a metaphor for one who spends the night in excessive sleep, neglecting worship and the night prayer; “and a donkey by day”— that is, one who is devoid of insight, wholly preoccupied with worldly pursuits, “knowledgeable about the affairs of this world yet ignorant of the affairs of the Hereafter.”

This Prophetic description portrays the personality of a person whose life revolves around the gratification of the ego and preoccupation with worldly affairs. Arrogance replaces humility, contention supplants forbearance, heedlessness overshadows devotion, and worldly knowledge is pursued, while the knowledge that leads to Allah and the Hereafter is neglected. These are among the inevitable consequences of allowing the self and its desires to become one’s ultimate authority.

True balance, however, is found in servitude to Allah, for it liberates a person from the tyranny of personal desires. It replaces arrogance with humility, ostentation with sincerity, and establishes human relationships upon the foundations of justice, goodness, and mercy.

How, then, can a servant bring about such a transformation in character and conduct to attain this lofty station?

First: One must restore meaning to life. One of the greatest crises of modern Western thought is the loss of meaning. This is the inevitable consequence of a materialistic worldview that reduces both the human being and the universe to nothing more than matter and motion governed by natural laws, while excluding purpose, value, and any transcendent source of authority.

Restoring meaning begins by reconnecting life to its divine purpose, worship to its true objective, and the purification of the soul to the cultivation of noble character. In this way, worship bears its intended fruit, becoming an active and transformative force that shapes individuals who are righteous themselves and who become agents of righteousness and reform within society.

The sequence of deeds required to restore meaning to life and embark upon the path of righteousness and reform is beautifully outlined in Luqman’s counsel to his son in Surah Luqman (31:13-19). It begins with servitude to Allah, followed by gratitude, then reflection that removes heedlessness and strengthens sound reasoning. Thereafter come the establishment of worship and steadfastness in it, enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, exercising patience, and finally refining one’s character by avoiding arrogance, boastfulness, and loud, quarrelsome behavior.

Second: On this journey of self-purification, the servant’s goal must be reform. Reform embodies the defining qualities of the believer: humility, selflessness, and a sincere concern for the welfare of others. No matter how difficult one’s circumstances may be, they should never prevent a believer from maintaining a cheerful countenance and hastening to help others. Such was the character of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, even before revelation.

Among the greatest illustrations of this principle is the story of Musa, peace be upon him. When he fled Egypt in fear and sought refuge in Madyan, Allah says “So he left it, fearful and watchful, saying, ‘My Lord, save me from the wrongdoing people’” (28:21).

When he arrived at the water of Madyan, he encountered an unusual scene. He found two women holding back their flock because of the crowd gathered around the water. Out of modesty, they did not wish to mingle with the men, and their father was an elderly man. Allah says: “And when he arrived at the water of Madyan, he found there a crowd of people watering their flocks, and he found besides them two women holding back their flock. He said, ‘What is your situation?’ They said, ‘We cannot water our flock until the shepherds finish, and our father is an old man.’ So, he watered their flock for them. Then he withdrew to the shade and said, ‘My Lord, indeed I am, for whatever good You would send down to me, in need’” (28:23–24)

Musa’s question, “What is your situation?” reflects the noble concern of a true believer. Upon witnessing the absence of justice, the lack of consideration for people’s circumstances, the deficiency of mercy, and the weakness of social solidarity, he did not pass by with indifference. Rather, once he understood their situation, he recognized in that scene the consequences of selfishness and self-centeredness, where people had become preoccupied with their own needs while neglecting the needs of others. Without hesitation, he hastened to bring about goodness and reform by drawing water for them.

This is the highest model of the believer: cheerful in countenance, eager to perform righteous deeds, humble in spirit, quick to assist others, and devoted to fulfilling their needs. Such was also the character of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him. He supported the weak, provided for those who had nothing, assisted the needy, and attended to the affairs of the people.

The servant should also reflect upon the blessings that flow from acts of goodness. Because of this single act of sincere and selfless service, Allah (swt) granted Musa, peace be upon him, shelter after homelessness, enriched him after poverty, guided him upon the path of righteousness, blessed him with a home, a family, and honorable work, and ultimately honored him with prophethood.

For this reason, one of the greatest means of purifying the soul is to break free from the prison of the ego and self-centeredness and enter the vast realm of beneficence toward Allah’s creation — showing kindness, relieving people’s hardships, fulfilling their needs, and striving to bring goodness wherever one is able.

Conversely, whoever remains imprisoned within the confines of the ego becomes detested by Allah and disliked by people. Such a person remains a captive of personal desires, and if they die without repentance, their final abode is the Fire. We ask Allah (swt) to protect us from it.